Sideline < Game

I'm sitting by the pool wondering if I'll ever learn how to relax.. I'm very skittish as an ex would describe. Wheeling Thuy around all day while we shopped for household items and groceries taught me a valuable lesson in life.. It's time to stop doing so much, and focus! You'll never catch me just doing one thing. I'm never just reading, I'm also listening to music and watching a movie. I'm never just writing, I'm also eating a sandwich and scratching my ass. I'm never just cooking, I'm also holding a conversation. I'm never just sleeping.. I'm always dreaming. Even in high school, I did it all. I was in student council and managed all 40+ clubs.. charted all their fundraisers and held meetings every month. Was in Future Business Leaders of America, where I won two regional competitions. Volunteered 15 hrs a week with the Asian commuting. Mentoring adolescent teens, and held workshops to bring domestic violence and tobacco awareness. Were a cheerleader and captain of the dance team.. where I choreographed and taught all the dances. Ran the student store and did inventory. Volunteered my lunch to hang out with the special educations department. All the while running around the school taking pictures and doing yearbook layouts. I also helped my parents in the Tai-Li 20 hrs a week, held a boyfriend, and kept my social life alive with friends and parties. I even won homecoming royalty my senior year w/ my boyfriend :) I did everything that I ever wanted to do going in. Besides the fact that I spent the majority of my time in the principal’s office in trouble, I can truly say that I had the ultimate high school experience.. with one exception. Till this day it still haunts me.. The one thing that I never thought I'd even consider doing or thought I'd even be interested in, but left unchecked, unexplored and unfinished.. The high school musical. Thuy and I actually auditioned for it together our senior year. It was an impulsive move on our part because we had just heard about the audition earlier that day and decided it would be soO fun.. So we walked into the auditorium unprepared, and side by side sang on stage "The Star Spangled Banner" (got about 70% of the words right.) Thuy got a thank you for trying, we can still use you. And I was told that I actually have a good voice. I just need to learn how to project it and follow through.. Nevertheless, we both got parts. But with everything that I had going on, the commitment that it took to complete a full production was just too much for me.. so I reneged. Something I regretted down to my soul, the day I sat in my seat and watched the "show go on..." Today, right here, right now, I'm in Encinitas, California. The most beautiful and most comfortable place I've ever been to.. with everything I need to keep trucking and tree doors I can choose from.

Number 1. Go back to Vegas. Stay with Carley until I can get a cocktail serving job and then make a hundred G's a year. Maybe take some classes to keep sane, chill by the pool and party my life away..
Number 2. Stay here in San Diego. Get a great job as a leasing consultant with Thuy's company since they've been hassling her for references. Find a roommate and start a new life in a whale’s vagina. Go to the beach, visit the wineries, and maybe even start dating again..
Number 3. Keep moving towards LA... with only a hope and a dream.

I'm pretty sure it's obvious the one I'm shooting for.. So on Tuesday, I've set some things up and I'll be leaving to Long beach, California where I'd only be 30 miles away from where it all goes down. Once I get there, I have about a million and two things to do before I'll even go to a casting.. but I'm sure with all of my heart that entertainment is where my future lies. The only difference this time is that I’m Committed. Focused. And ready.

So until then.. I'm going to enjoy this weekend vacation.