A few nights before I left for Vegas, my friends threw a going away gathering for me at Masa. After getting me trashed and crying all over the club, we headed to my house for more crying. On the way home, there was a slug bug on the side of the highway that had been torched.. completely melted black. My friend Sam shouts, "It's an omen! Don't go." Of course we laughed it off, but later that night I had a dream of the same car with dark images flashing all around it. Just then, the Devil grabs me from behind pulling me back. And that's when I shouted, "No, I'm going!" When I woke up, I felt really confused. I already had all my stuff packed and ready to go.. What the hell did that all mean? I promised myself that if I'm going to still go, the one thing I have to do is pray.. Every night. Which I have been keeping my word on, even though I would say I'm not the best at it. But the night before I left for San Diego, I messaged my friend Derrick who's my spiritual mentor, about his opinion on everything that was going on. Before he said anything, he asked if I had accepted Christ yet. I always get a little uncomfortable whenever people bring up Jesus, because I've always considered myself to be agnostic. I thought about his question and remembered that I do. I always have, the only thing holding me back from say yes all these years was myself.
*Started this project junior year of high school. At first it was meant to be something practical-a purse, then a scrapbook cover, but now it's just a reminder. The cool thing about it.. is all the people who've contributed by eating Starbursts for me. From my nieces in Chicago, cousins in Ohio, every ex-boyfriend, roommates, homies, Tai-Li customers, my diet conscious sisters.. Thanks yall (1620 count)
Even Though We Laughed It Off, Maybe There Was A Hidden Message Or Sign Involved With That. "Omen" Is Too Heavy Of A Word To Describe That And I Take That Back. I Just Wasn't Ready To Have You Exit The Tacoma Area. Anyhow, Let Me Just Add That I Prefer You In California Rather Than Nevada.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I ate many Starbursts...more than I ever had in my entire life.
ReplyDeleteTrust yourself. Trust that you will make decisions that will lead you to where you are supposed to be. You might take a detour (like through Vegas) but ultimately it's all apart of the process. And if you forget to pray one night, it's not the end of the world. The Universe (God) will forgive you. Remember that everything is a spiritual journey. "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual creatures having a human experience."
(Pst...you were never agnostic. It's impossible to be agnostic with how we were raised.)